Posts Tagged ‘worries’

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How do I keep my friend from damaging herself?

July 22, 2009

From Anonymous

My best friend seems to always be in a bad situation.  She is an amazing person and artist, but everything is so hard for her.  I don’t know if she creates it or if life is just unfair, but I don’t know how to help her.  Short of moving in with her and helping her organize her life, I’m at a total loss.  There are days when she gets so down that she just sits home all day and watches TV.  I go over there to motivate her, then she starts to do better for a while and realizes that she can have a good life, but if one bad thing happens, the cycle starts all over again.  How do I keep her from damaging herself and become the successful person I know she can be?


Inspirations from Binah:

I’m sure we have all been in the same situation you describe.  Whether it is a family member, partner or friend, there is always that one person you wish you could help out of the darkness of depression, illness or even just a lack of motivation.  The short answer to your question is that you can’t stop her from damaging herself – she has to live her life – all you can do is set an example for what she can become.

Support your friend when she needs you, but also remember to live your life.  Show her through your example that she can be healthy and happy.  Give her unconditional love, yet resist the urge to do everything for her.  If she starts to pull more than you can give, don’t be afraid to step back a little.  To be a good friend, you have take care of your own needs.

Ask your Higher Self to tell her Higher Self that you will not abandon her, even if you have to give her space to find her own way.  This reassurance will help her move forward with confidence.  Though you may not be around physically, your energy and love will get her through difficult times.  Hugs of support to you.


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I don’t think my mom wants me in the house anymore

May 22, 2009

From Linette:

hay my name is linette and i want to know..what can i do when i feel as though my mom doesn’t want me in the house any more?


From Inspirations from Binah:

It is important for you to know Linette that you are loved by God, your Higher Self and all of the Spirit beings around you. When you feel as if your mother does not want you in the house, take a step back and look into why you are feeling this way. Does this come from something she told you or your interpretation of her behavior?

Take a deep breath and go have a conversation about your feelings with your mother. Communication is the first step to clearing the air and finding understanding. Often, we don’t understand how our behavior is interpreted by others. Just because your mother gets angry at you or may be sad about a specific event, it does not mean that she does not love you or want you around. Tell her what she is doing that leads you to believe she does not want you in the house, then give her a chance to tell you her side. Open your heart and listen to her response. Allow yourself the opportunity to hear not only her words, but her intentions. We are not all good at expressing eloquently what is in our hearts and minds, sometimes, you have to listen to the feeling of love and understanding in the message.

The most important thing for you to do is to be active about your feelings. Sitting around thinking your mother doesn’t want you around is not going to solve anything. By discussing the situation with her, you have a chance to reconnect and improve the situation. Once the problem has been brought out into the open, a solution can be found. Good luck!


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I fear I will not have a family, how do I choose a path?

May 13, 2009

From Olga:

Hi there, I must say I am impressed with your work so I am going to ask for your advice. I am lost, I don’t really know how to choose a path to live!!I always have doubts for what I am doing, I change my mind often about my goals and my timing is not right!!

I face professional problems now, and I fell cheated from my own self cause I know my potential and I can ‘t get where I want!! But most of all my greatest fear is that I will not have a family, I will not have children… I ‘m soon to be 35, I have a relationship but he is 8 years younger and no plans for kids….

when I was younger, but a lot younger like I was 19 I had the opportunity to have children but I didn’t want too, so I am deep down afraid that I’ve lost my chance!

I would appreciate your thoughts about this


Inspirations from Binah:

No opportunity is ever really missed. If you accept the choices you’ve made and continue moving forward, that which you are meant to have will present itself again. Though you feel that you have not chosen a path to live, every day you make decisions, every day you choose your path. Give yourself the credit you deserve for manifesting all that is around you.

When it comes to planning a family, you must first speak with your partner. Forget about work and all your other worries, just focus on this one topic. Explain to him your desire for children without worrying about what he wants or needs. Speak straight from your heart. And then… listen. Listen to him tell you, from his heart, what he wants. And when you each know what the other needs, accept it. This is a topic where there is not much compromise to be made. Yes, you can forgo a family, but will you truly be happy if you do? Will he be happy with children he never really wanted? Just as you feel strongly that you want a family, it is possible that he is equally passionate about not having one, and that is something you are going to have to accept.

With acceptance, you will find new opportunities presenting themselves. Whether alone or with a partner, there are many ways to have children: adoption, foster parenting, traditional couples, trios… be open to the thought that your path may be unconventional. Look inward and find the path that is best for you. Once you find acceptance of the present life you’ve built, you will find that the future comes easily one decision at a time.


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How is my current state of consciousness perceived?

April 1, 2009

From Travis:

A little over 2 years ago, I reached a point on my spiritual path that I recognized as an internal threshold.  I was able to glimpse the potentiality that traversing this threshold offered and it became apparent to me that realizing this potentiality was ultimately a matter of making a conscious choice.  Ever since my first encounter with this aspect of my being, I have been in a “holding pattern” that over time has depleted my internal resources.  One realization I have had as a result of this period of deterioration is that there seems to be a distinction between the vessel (mind/body/personality etc.) and the consciousness that occupies that vessel.  On some levels of my being, there is an impulse to regress to previous states of consciousness during which my “vessel” was more empowered and yet was equally as in need of transmutation as it is currently.  What I’m essentially wondering is how my current state of consciousness is perceived by The Spirits, particularly with regard to the state of the “vessel” as I’ve attempted to describe it above, and am also interested in any acknowledgement of my path that they are able to provide as a way to rekindle my faith.  Any insights you could offer would be greatly appreciated.


Inspirations from Binah:

It can be de-motivating when you find that your ‘vessel’ is not in the peak condition you believe it should be. Body issues, emotional traumas and negative personality traits take control of even the most enlightened consciousness and leave you feeling like you are stuck in place. Yet separating your vessel from your Spirit is doing you a great disservice. You are one being, made up of many difference components, put on this Earth to manifest your life purpose. Part of that purpose is how you work through the challenges of your physical existence. Take a step back and instead of trying to tackle your ‘vessel’ as one giant block, break it into little chunks you can work through. Discard that which does not serve you and make a list of what you feel is most important. Take your time with each one, thinking through what must be done, planning the steps and acting with confidence. With each accomplishment, your internal resources will be replenished.

There is no timeline for your personal development. What may feel like a step backwards, may actually be a step forward in a new lesson you need to learn. Stop for a minute and take a look around. Do you see all that you have accomplished… all that you have learned? While you thought you were standing still, in reality you were working through a lesson and acquiring skills on the connection between the physical and spiritual. Take that lesson into meditation and ask your spirit guides to lead you to the next path of your journey. It may seem obscure, but you will find that you’ve been going the right direction all along.


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Am I doing the right thing for my daughter?

March 18, 2009

From Bridget:

Hello, thank you for inviting me to this group!
I have been struggling with a HUGE life issue the last 7 months.
In August of this year I left my boyfriend of 4 years because of abuse. I BELIEVE my partner was using crack cocaine but he lied and denied it over and over and over for years! He so often became angry and violent when I would keep pursuing him with questions. Everything in me said that he had a secret life, but i resisted my truth for so long.
We have a beautiful, delightful daughter together. She is almost 3 and her well being is the most important thing to me. I want to raise an enlightened child! During this time we have not had contact at all with him or his family. In the beginning it was very hard for her but now she seems to be so happy and well adjusted.

I decided I want to try to gain sole custody with no visitation, at this time. He will be facing charges this July for his assaults against me.

The courts are sooo unsympathetic and they PUSH for fathers to have parenting time, even with abusive men! The courts frown on mothers who ask for no visitation. I feel I need to protect my child from this family where spousal abuse has been rampant.

Of course her best interest and needs are in my heart! I want to do the best for her and am trying so hard.
I originally agreed to visits and recently changed my mind. I was feeling so sick, stressed, anxious, and dreaming of him frequently(unable to remember details, just know he was in my dreams). I took all that as a sign that the visits were not okay and I called my lawyer and said No I don’t want to go ahead with the visitation now. So I think it may be left in the courts hands. What is the best way for me to proceed with this situation? Am I doing the right thing for my daughter?
Thank You
~Blessings~


From Inspirations from Binah:

The instincts of a mother to protect her young are strong and often lead us in directions we never dreamed of. The only time to second guess those instincts is when they could be influenced by your individual feelings for another. Before you can answer if you are doing the right thing for your daughter, you must ask yourself how you feel about her father.

Though you must take into consideration his history of abuse, you must also be able to objectively evaluate the relationship your daughter has with her father. Do no let your anger at what he did to you impair your judgment. Confer with your Higher Self and ask what is truly in your daughter’s best and highest good. Ask for guidance to separate the anxiety you feel about the abuse you suffered from the messages you are receiving regarding visitation.

If you feel that you are not in a place where you can be impartial, then find someone that can be. In life, there are many times when it is best to get a second opinion. Ask a trusted friend or contact a professional then use the information they give you in conjunction with your own knowledge and instincts to make an informed decision.

I applaud your courage to go through the court system, it is a tough road. If after searching your heart and evaluating their relationship you still feel strongly that even supervised visits are out of the question, then you must continue down this road. The choice before you is difficult, but the fact that you are reaching out for more input says that your integrity is high and that you are looking out for your daughter’s best interest. Whatever choice you make, you will be supported.

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