Ahhh…. I am sitting here staring at my computer screen with a list of projects to complete and absolutely NO IDEA how to complete them. ** Deep Inhale ** Long Exhale ** Centering Myself ** OK, that was a bit of an exaggeration –I know how to complete some of the projects. But as for the bigger ones, I am lost in information overload!
Am I allowed to admit that though? I know I am human and can’t do everything, but when people are relying on me to produce results yesterday, it is hard to come back and tell them that I need more time to process before I can actually start doing. Then again, isn’t that exactly what I want in my life, to work with people that would understand that all sustainable growth is a process that takes time?
In my old life, the results were all that mattered. It was the typical world many people still live in today where what you are feeling or going through doesn’t really matter — all that matters is that you get the job done at all costs. When I walked away from that world, I released that dynamic and now only work in environments where I can be free to communicate my personal growth process alongside the tangible results of my skills.
Right now, I am working on four independent projects, each with a set of smaller projects. It is probably too much for one person to manage, but I have a slight *passion* around building things with people that have vision and find it hard to say no when asked to participate. Of the four projects, one is fairly easy and only requires time and focus for another week. I have the skills and know what I have to do, I just have to make time to execute. For another, I have stated quite clearly what I can do, but the person I am working with hasn’t given me what I need, so that gives me some extra time. For the other two, that is where the mental overload steps in.
These two projects are my life passions; these are the projects that are physical manifestations of my life purpose. One is solitary, the other in a group. The goals are other-worldly and when I reach them I will have far exceeded anything I ever thought possible in my life. Both have external people fully invested in making them successful and are looking for me to execute with precision and skill.
Are you getting a sense of where my overload feelings are coming from? It is amazing that I have finally reached a point in my life where people believe in me, but man’o’man is it intense. Not stressful in the mindless sort of way. On the contrary, I go to bed every night counting my blessings for being given these opportunities, but there are still only so many hours in a day. And while I have shed the “fear” of disappointing others, I would like to make them proud. Add to that my superhero desire to learn a fourth language, perfect my third language, and really get to know the dozens of new people I am meeting daily… well, that leaves very little time for even sleep.
Both projects require *me* to come up with the game plan. There is no one that can give me a list of tasks; I must create and execute. I am working both pillars at the same time: action and integration, form and force, giving and receiving. So when I open my spiritual toolbox to find what I need, the first thing I pull out is not a physical thing at all. Yes, there are some physical tools such as flower/crystal essences, altar intention, focus rituals, etc, but the biggest tool is my professional and personal community. This is the spiritual tool I have been cultivating for the last seven years, and now is the time to use them all.
So tonight, instead of beating myself up or worrying that I am not doing enough, I am turning to the people around me and asking for help. I am calling out to friends who remind me why I am doing all this, work partners to brainstorm solutions, business partners to update expectations and non-physical guides to reveal my path. I also call out to you and ask for blessings and positive energy to fuel my work. I am connected to the collective consciousness of humanity… I am building the collective consciousness of humanity… I AM the collective consciousness. Now is the time to acknowledge that connection and allow its power to show me what I need to execute with ease, and have fun doing it.
True success is found in harmony, union and balance. Thank you for being a part of my process.
yvette Soler is the voice behind Inspirations from Binah providing practical spiritual advice on every subject. If you are looking for advice on a specific question, browse through the questions asked under Recent Advice or submit your own question. All questions are encouraged, for when you are in the thick of things, there is no such thing as a small problem.