From Evangeline:
I have been told that my difficulty sleeping could be caused by fear and an inability to trust in the process of life, which describes me to the max. In my adolescence I was painfully shy and insecure and isolated, though I yearned to have friends. I am a very social person so it was like I was starving. I constantly lived with the feeling that I didn’t have enough of things that I wanted and needed. Now I’m in college and it’s a world of incredible social abundance. I have never been so happy in my entire life. When I am actually at school, I sleep great. My problem is…that all those years of sadness are still affecting me. I worry that I still give off desperation sometimes and especially when I’m away from school I start think in a way that emphasizes limitation and lack. So I guess…how can I trust the universe, and how can make myself whole?
I have tried affirmations and loving myself, and…I still have this problem.
From Inspirations from Binah:
Though your question asks about making yourself whole, it is possible that your feelings of fear and sadness are not coming from you. When you are at school, you are starting with a clean slate both energetically and emotionally. You have found an environment where you can thrive and realize the abundance of life around you. After so many years of sleepless night at home, the negative energy of fear and inability to trust can be trapped in the physical space and must be released. Just as you have worked on clearing your emotional energy, now it is time to clear the physical.
Start by clearing any physical objects that trigger negative thoughts. If your sheets remind you of restless nights, then get new sheets. Clean the space thoroughly and remove any items that are broken, unused or bring back strong memories of unhappy times.
When this is done, get a fire-proof bowl (preferably one made out of oven-safe material). Put about half a cup of Epsom salt in the bottom and enough alcohol to wet it, but not enough to create a pool. Use the rubbing alcohol that is greater than 85% by volume (70% will not work). Put this in the center of the room, away from any other objects, and light it on fire. Let this burn out completely, purifying the room.
Next, set a strong intention to clear the energy and grab a smudge stick or other clearing incense/resin of your choice – some options are sage, Palo Santo and Dragon’s Blood; use the one that calls to you. Light the stick and as the smoke starts to rise, start at the top of your head and move the stick all the way around and down your body clockwise. When you have cleared yourself, start at the closest corner to the north and move clockwise fanning the smoke so it touches the walls. Go through the entire area while reciting an affirmation of your choice, for example, “I clear all negative energy from this space and bless it with divine love and light.”
Keep the area clear with fresh flowers, crystals and/or candles. Work with your Higher Self to find the combination that works for you. You can also travel with a little kit so you can clear any room where you will be spending the night. With a clear space you will find that the issues of the past fade away allowing you to continue focusing on the positivity you have found.
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