We have entered the final stretch of 2009. December is a month filled with Holiday parties, friends and family. For many of us, it is also a time of chaos and confusion.
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If you have questions or concerns and would like to find answers, Inspirations from Binah welcomes all Questions and is always here to provide personal advice and inspiration for you. Ask and ye shall receive…
I have often found that when I first enter a new phase of success, I feel the most amount of sorrow and loneliness. It is hard to explain why this happens without sounding like an ego-maniac, but I truly think that it is hard for people to see others around them attain success. We are conditioned to find the faults in their behavior or wonder how they cheated to get there. Even our closest friends can give in to jealousy and envy.
In the last few months, my life has reached new levels of happiness and success. Yes, there are rough spots, but the amount of growth on a personal, emotional, spiritual and financial level has been extremely rewarding. My greatest nemesis and triumph is over acceptance. I am working hard to find acceptance of all that is around me, though sometimes things accidentally slip out of my mouth before I can stop them, and then I find myself apologizing profusely. 
And yet, in that same time, I have lost the friendship of some that I thought were good friends, had organizations get upset that I am not following their exact rules and been pushed back without reason. I look at these at tests and work with my Higher Self to ensure that these are unavoidable casualties, but putting all that energy into trying to make others find acceptance over my choices can be exhausting. I’m not perfect; I make my share of mistakes, but I try hard to apologize and make amends.
So… if I feel like I am heading in the right direction, fulfilling my life purpose, being the best me I can be, why do the people around me find the need to pull me down or just walk away? And more importantly, why do I let their denial of acceptance over my actions affect me so much. I recognize that it is coming from their own fear, ignorance and/or jealousy, but it is still hard to accept.
All I can do is keep moving forward and be confident in that I will attract a new set of people that are strong and happy in their own choices and can therefore accept mine.
I encourage your thoughts and feelings. Let us learn from each others experiences…
From Sofia:
I’m not sure if my question really blurs into two…
My first issue is that I have thankfully been blessed with spiritual experiences, including OBEs and such where I have met my spirit guides but I have never been able to bring on these experiences, even though I’ve attempted different techniques in the past, from inducing OBEs, meditation, prayer etc. it doesn’t seem to work for me. And I have tried alot of techniques.
There have been times in my life where I have really needed to hear from my guides more than just in the everyday intuition based way but even if I just leave it up to them it doesn’t seem to work. Even if I totally let it go. After a while I begin to doubt and so, my question is this. How can I rediscover that spiritual connection that I find so hard to initiate?
Also, I admit I have lost a lot of faith in finding a soulmate as it were. I’m speaking romantically. I’ve tried getting advice during OBEs and such but either I can’t seem to find my guides (even if I call them) or can’t get out of them what I really want to know.
I guess after seven years of fruitless searching I’m kinda angry. I know its meant to happen when the time is right and trust me I’ve tried to be as open as possible but that has only led to nasty endings when I’ve sort of ‘tricked’ myself into thinking maybe this is who I want in my life when I know deep down that my heart isn’t in it. I also have heard so many times that you have to be happy with yourself and I am, but I’m human and I am designed to love and be loved romantically. So my question is, how can I find my soulmate/s? I mean literally as in the soul group type set up, and not just those who are friends and family in this life.
Inspirations from Binah:
Your spiritual connection is something that is with you always and while it may seem as if there are times when you are not connected, just the fact that you know it exists means you are. One question to ponder is whether you feel connected when you don’t “need” to hear from your guides? When you only turn to your spirituality in a crisis, you may have a hard timing hearing because you have not developed a symbiotic language.
To create that language, you must first hear the way your spirit guides currently communicate. That may sound cryptic, but it just means that you have to accept that the way your guides speak to you may not be the way you envisioned it. Intuition proves that you are connected and receiving messages. This could be the only method your guides have to communicate. Instead of trying to force them to contact you the way you want, take the method they currently use and expand from there.
Which senses does your intuition come through? Have you tried expanding it to another sense? For example, if you usually just know something, the next few times it happens close your eyes and focus on what you are hearing. Take the clairsentience and create maps to expand your clairaudience. If you usually see things and are clairvoyant, then create maps to how you are feeling. You can also study sacred geometry, gematria or any other “language” that allows you to decipher the messages you are receiving from spirit through the world around you. With each exercise, you expand your capacity for receiving messages and give your guides new ways to speak with you.
The blocks before you finding a romantic partner cross new lines. Though you may think that your guides are not providing you with answers, their silence is your answer. Just as you need to learn the language of your spirit guides, you must accept that a soulmate may look at first very different from what you visualized. Each of us has a circle of soulmates that are a part of our world. Accept each person that comes into your life without expectation and let the relationship develop organically. What may seem like friendship, may blossom into romantic love. We have no way of knowing why a person was sent into our lives so do not make a judgment. Release the anger and enjoy what you are getting… this may just give you what you want.
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From Anonymous:
How do you deal with the human need for companionship when you are entering into a period of intense introspection and solitude?
Inspirations from Binah:
The human need for companionship is often twisted together with fears, attachments and negative ego. What we often think is a need to interact with another person, is usually an attachment and fear of being alone. Though we are social beings, the only connection we require is to Spirit, for when you are connected to Source, you are never truly alone.
That being said, loneliness is an emotion that haunts many and can lead you to do things you never wanted just for the sake of being with someone. Working through this to find a place where being alone does not mean being lonely is why a period of introspection and solitude is needed. It is not until you are physically alone with only your connection to Source and all the beings of the spirit world for companionship that you can fully understand the difference between an attachment to the distractions provided by another vs a true desire to commune.
Remember that extremes are unhealthy, that includes spending too much time in solitude. Take this time to understand the different facets of your feelings – asking your Higher Self to bring in any necessary beings to show you the way. Find the place where you want to be others because the interactions bring you love, not because you fear being alone. When you are ready, emerge from your solitude knowing that you are complete and stay conscious not to allow new attachments to form. Balance your needs for solitude and companionship creating relationships of varying degrees of closeness based on true love and friendship – you will find these more fulfilling that any based on fear.
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There are several people in my life that I no longer associate with. I’ll take it a step further and say that I go out of my way to not initiate contact with them. These are people that have hurt me deeply in the past. For some, they don’t even realize the extent of the hurt. Though I tried to express it as it was happening, they were oblivious to the effect of their actions.
As time wears on, these people have once again entered my periphery. Whether through social networking sites or mutual friends, we have ‘found’ each other. And though they hover near, there is still a distance; I allow them near my circle, but I don’t invite them in.
In contemplating my thoughts around why I let them near me in the first place, I realized that I didn’t really know if I had forgiven them. Could I really have forgiven them if I don’t invite them close to me again? After a long walk with this question and some deep meditation, the answer was a resounding YES! Yes, I have forgiven what was done to me. I harbor no ill will toward these people. I wish them the same happiness I would any person.
Not inviting them into my world again is not about lack of forgiveness, it is about not forgetting. I have not forgotten what they did because it is that knowledge that protects me from disappointment. How do I know that I have truly forgiven them if I don’t invite them in? In order to test myself and ensure that I didn’t harbor any ill will, after I forgave them, I reached out. But what I discovered was that they had not changed and were therefore liable to hurt me again. It is not they intend to hurt me, it is just that they are not the type of people I associate with anymore. They were important to me at the time of our friendship, but as we moved forward in life, our evolution took different paths; the person I am today does not live in their same world.
I know I have forgiven them because if they were to reach out, I would listen. I would give them a chance to show me that our lives are now compatible. I know because I still smile at their triumphs and feel sadness for their pain. I know because my heart is open to them. And so I find comfort in knowing that my avoidance is not about a lack of forgiveness, it is about acceptance… acceptance of who they have become and acceptance that it is ok to be different.
A natural spiritual teacher and healer, yvette Soler brings an authority and intuitive wisdom to her work that only the depth of experience can provide. She brings certainty, joyful expression, and a powerfully aligned energy into every corner of her life and she empowers others to do the same.
To engage yvette for expert consultations and group presentations, click here.
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