From Carmen:
I have found love twice, I believe. One died suddenly 3 years ago. For the past two years, I have had another relationship, but a few days ago something changed and he turned around and said to me “I seem to imagine a different relationship”!
We were not in contact for a while and a year ago we agreed to go back into some type of relationship. For sure I know he likes me for a long time, but he is married. Last week, he had breakfast with me for my birthday… After a few days, I sent him a message saying I really wanted to see him again soon and he turned around and said I think too much. I feel like a fool.
At this stage, I just need someone to spend a little time with me. How can I keep my heart from not being broken again and again. Is something wrong with me?
Inspirations from Binah:
Relationships require give and take, an equitable flow of energy between people. You already know that this man is not interested in a true relationship, so it is better for you to walk away now.
You began your final paragraph by saying that you only want someone to spend a little time with you, but then go on to say how you fear having your heart broken. Those two sentences contradict each other, for if all you really want is a companion, you would not invest your heart and therefore, there would be nothing to break. Before stepping into another relationship, it is time to step back to discover what you truly want.
There are times when words are not the best way to express, so use pictures instead. Sit down with a few magazines, a pair of scissors, a poster board and some glue. Go through all the magazines and cut out pictures that represent what you want in a relationship. Release your thoughts and react to each picture emotionally, cutting things out without thinking about them. The pictures should represent all areas of a relationship, including activities, how you feel when you are together, what your future will be like and so forth. Have fun with this, cutting out everything that makes you smile.
When you are done, arrange the pictures on the poster board and glue them into place, creating a collage. Resist the urge to think about what each picture means, that will come later. For now, let your creative side take over and put each piece in place, creating a great work of art.
With your collage complete, you can begin using this new tool for self-discovery. Sit in your sacred space, ready to meditate on the symbol you have created. Call in your Higher Self and guides, place the collage comfortably in front of you and stare at it as you enter into a meditative trance. Let the images wash over you, covering your entire being with this energy. When you are ready, close your eyes and journey into your ideal relationship. Record all that you experience.
Over time, use this collage as a way to discover not only what you want in a relationship, but what you need to heal in yourself in order to attract it. Ask your Higher Self to guide you as you see the cords and fears that keep pushing you into unhealthy relationships. Each time you meditate with the collage, ask a different question, such as:
- What is holding me back from attracting my ideal relationship?
- How do I cut the cords and heal?
- When my partner looks at me, who do I want he/she to see?
- How do I become the person I want to be in this relationship?
The collage is a visual representation of what you truly want. Meditating on it, will take you deep into that energy so that you can find the answers your waking mind seeks. This process may take time, so be strong and realize that at the end of the path, you will find a stronger and healthier you, one ready to share a life, not lose yourself into another’s.
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