Posts Tagged ‘Higher Self’

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I can’t handle a long distance relationship

June 27, 2011
2 Trees by aussiegall, on Flickr

2 Trees

Mandy asks:

I recently started seeing someone, but now she is moving away for several months and I am not sure what to do. I really like her and I have a feeling there is something growing between us, but I don’t think it is good to lock ourselves into a relationship when we just met. Should I continue seeing her and risk the sadness of separation or walk away now and trust that if there is something between us it will be there when she gets back. I can’t handle a long distance relationship, but I don’t want to lose her completely. I feel really conflicted.


Inspirations from Binah replies:

New relationships are filled with wonder. Each encounter provides an opportunity to learn and share. With each passing moment, emotions connect and intertwine, quickly processing sensory input into likes and dislikes which become the basis of a relationship.

Traditionally, we have relied on physical proximity to foster this growing connection. But what do you do when that is not possible? Every day, modern technology provides new channels to bring us closer together even when we are physically apart. Can these channels be enough to nurture a new relationship?

To decide the best path, you must look to the heavens to read the navigational signs the Universe is placing before you. While relationships can be enriching, they can also become unhealthy when both parties are not ready. We often find ourselves rushing into something out of fear of losing out, than sitting back and allowing the connection to naturally unfold.

Since you know that the distance is temporary, it may be that the Universe is telling each of you that you have objectives that must be accomplished individually in order to come together out of healthy want, instead of weak need. The test is to see the distance as a spiritual tool, rather than an obstacle. The Universe has given you a glimpse of something beautiful you can be a part of, but only if you continue your own path instead of jumping onto the path of another.

In the time you are apart there will be moments of sadness. There may also be moments of prolonged silence and loneliness. Allow yourself to feel the depths and range of your emotions, for there is much to be learned when you remain present and open. Terence Trent D’Arby sang, “…all lovers must have thought provoking fears” and it is here where you have the greatest opportunity to heal and grow. Embrace the fears, thank them for their service, and then release them, asking your guides to place before you any additional spiritual tools you need to complete the healing process.

Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss. -Emily Matthews reworked by Veronica Bowermaster

Patience is not often the easiest human trait to learn, but those who have managed to master it have earned a great prize.  Allow yourself to savor each experience with this person, free of limits, obligations and expectations. Use all the technology at your disposal to keep the connection alive, while being mindful that the physical distance has a purpose that must be honored. This is a time for individual growth; a time to continue on your individual path. Not every step must be taken alone, but at the same time, no step can be rushed. When you feel doubt, call upon your Higher Self and ask for guidance. Release fear and embrace faith.


I sit in the present to relish the beauty
of slow forward movement.

Like watching a delicate flower bloom,
a great magician is showing me
the wonder of patience.
Fear surges from time to time
…wrapping his hands around mine,
it dissipates just as quickly as it comes.

My magician speaks without words.
With every encounter I learn
the language of his actions,
finding that if I allow and trust,
all questions will be answered…
all feelings revealed
when the time is right.


If you are looking for advice on a specific question, browse through the questions asked under Recent Advice or submit your own question. All questions are encouraged, for when you are in the thick of things, there is no such thing as a small problem.

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I thought friends were supposed to offer kind words?

May 8, 2011
oops.

oops. by calleecakes

Last weekend, I went to visit M.  Spending time with her is a fully immersive experience, since I often stay various days at her home.  Being out in the country, away from the hustle and bustle of city life, makes me feel like a different person.  We sit in our pajamas and eat, talk and play with her children.  At night, over Mojitos or wine (or sometimes both), we talk about life.  I have great friends that I share some of my most intimate stories with, but it is not the same as my time with M. M brings out the parts of me that I hide from the everyone.  We often cry as we talk about events with the kind of honesty one usually loses after high school.  I mean, let’s be honest, no matter how old you get, one look from the right person gets all those hormones going and you’re back to being a shy girl praying for a kiss.  But after a certain age, you don’t tell anyone that.

On Sunday, after two days of sharing, we settled  into one of *those* types of discussions.  I have a situation that M just doesn’t understand.  She is afraid I am going to get hurt and can’t figure out why I would put myself in the situation to begin with.  I was trying to explain when I broke down in tears and could barely talk.  Instead of placating me, she pointed out the cause of my despair.  She didn’t sugar coat it; with all the judgment she could muster (her exact words), she told me how I was creating the situation I so very much wanted to avoid.  OUCH!  I thought friends were supposed to offer kind words in times of need, not kick them when they are down?

I stood there staring at her with stinging tears streaming down my face.  As I choked on the words of defense that were trying to come out of my mouth, I realized… she was right.  As much as I hated it, she was absolutely right.  The only person responsible for what was happening… was… ME!

Years ago, I was a totally different person.  Transformation is a major theme in my life, since I feel that the person I am today was buried beneath many layers of a person I DID NOT LIKE.  With every passing year, the layers slough off more quickly, allowing me to shed unwanted behaviors and thoughts in days and weeks instead of the months and years it used to take.  Old tendencies sometimes take over without warning, but now I can usually catch them before they do any damage.  So while M’s words hurt, after a few minutes of thought, I could feel myself rummaging through my internal spiritual toolbox and formulating a plan for transformation.

This week, my plan was put into action.  I admit that I am frustrated that I have yet to completely transform this behavior that causes me pain, but at the same time I am thrilled that it was identified before I let it ruin the wonderful opportunity that sits before me.  The old me would have done something stupid by now causing irrevocable harm.

Tonight, I take a deep breath and ask my Higher Self to guide me.  My emotions and logic are struggling as they learn a new dance step.  While they haven’t yet decided who will lead, I see that their movements are slowly falling in sync.  Soon they will find balance.

Life is a constant work in progress.  Every time I think I have found victory, I am reminded that true splendor comes when conscious thought becomes the new foundation for action.  Thank you M for placing the mirror before me and not allowing me to run away when I didn’t like the reflection.

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My partner is pulling me down, should I go?

April 27, 2011

Alisa asks:

I have two children with a man whom I love very much.  He has spent the last 12 years in extreme turmoil. I have tried to part ways many times, but continue to get back with him because I love him as a person. However, he pulls me down very much. He is mentally ill and unstable and refuses evaluation or any alternative therapy. He is depressed and very passive about his life. Recently, I was admitted into the University and I am planning on moving to another state in a few months. He said he wants to come and support us there, but I need a new start and I know he really doesn’t want to go because he has no drive to find work. He has a very kind heart, but does nothing for himself but work in a  liquor store. He is functioning at a very low vibration and doesn’t want to help himself. I have tried so hard to nurture his relationship with the children because they love him, but I am seeing how the depression is making us all feel low and down in the dumps. I need some wholesome advice on how I can work this out. I fear he should stay here and we should go alone.

Inspirations from Binah replies:

While your emotional center sets the direction toward love, which can sometimes feel like a random choice with no foundation, your mind provides the checks and balances needed to understand that love.  Language limits our ability to comprehend all the different types of love that can be experienced, making it seem as if the feelings we feel for another person outside of our family can only be categorized as ‘romantic’ or ‘friendship’.  The truth is there are many other levels, each one providing lessons and experiences necessary for your evolutionary journey.

After 12 years with this man, your mind understands all the pros and cons of staying with him.  If he comes with you to your new city, you will continue to repeat the existing pattern, for you cannot expect another to change.  If you can find acceptance, joy and growth in this pattern, then your answer is simple: he should go with you.  But if you continue to feel that he is bringing down the vibration of the entire family, then you must realize that if you remain with him, you are not only holding back your personal growth, you are teaching your children that this is the best they can expect out of life.

That being said, there was a reason you were joined together in love, giving you an opportunity to reach a new level of knowledge through the journey you have walked together.  Sometimes it takes Understanding in order to receive the full Wisdom of an experience and move on to the next.  Shift your focus onto identifying and understanding the love you share today, releasing the need to believe that it must be the love of a partner and opening yourself to accepting that this love may be a vibration meant to bring your children into the world and provide you with strength and compassion you could only acquire through your union.

In your quiet Sanctuary, ask your Higher Self to take you on a spiritual journey through this relationship.  Begin with where and how you met, asking your Higher Self to play the entire video of the last 12 years and pausing where a new lesson was learned.  Take note of each time you learned something about yourself, each time you shed a layer of your ego or prejudices or weaknesses.  Create this list, and when you are done, ask your Higher Self if there is still more to learn in order to find the balance between your emotions and your intellect.  Your Higher Self can tell you if this story should continue, are you ready to accept the answer?

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Spiritual Lounge E-Magazine – April issue!

April 5, 2011


With pleasure we offer you the April 2011 issue of the spiritual Lounge E-Magazine including Inspiration from Binah’s answer:

How do I maintain my focus?

 

You can download your free copy from:
http://spirituallounge.whitedrums.com

 

Please pass this free e-magazine to all your friends and contacts so that they too may read and get enlightened.

Thank you for your help and support
Enjoy!

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Why do I see/hear things that are scary?

February 2, 2011

From Chelsea:

When I younger in junior high school, I had a friend over to stay the night. We were sitting on the floor in my room facing my bed talking about gut feelings. I remember looking up to see a “ghost” sitting on my bed. I looked at my friend and she had seen it too. When I looked back, it was gone. We went upstairs and were afraid to go in my room that night. It looked very dark, no light coming from it at all. It felt dark, scary… it seems tall because it had a long torso, it was sitting on my bed, it didn’t move or speak or anything. It just sat there for the few seconds. It appeared to have a sort of cape or hood on, although it also didn’t seem completely 3-d, it was almost like a shadow but more real. I didn’t see an actual face because if I did I feel like I would have remembered eyes or a mouth or something…it all happened so fast…so the best I can remember is it was dark, tall and scary.

I’d never seen anything like this before and I haven’t since. I have had odd things happen though, about the same time in my life. Things would happen while I was left home alone or while I was visiting a friend’s house. I have heard noises/voices and I’ve seen a lightswitch get turned on. It was always while I was home alone or home alone with a friend.

It makes me wonder why me? Why was I hearing/seeing these things, especially the dark ghost thing? I wonder why it was sitting on my bed? Why it didn’t say anything…why it showed itself at all?

I do have an awareness of light and dark energy, but I would have much preferred to have seen something of the light nature rather than something scary.

 

Inspirations from Binah:

Before we label the being you saw as dark, let us first walk through the events to see if there may be another answer.  You first ask, “why me?”  Text does not show tone, so we will explore two possible answers to answer your question.

If your question was asked with a tone of fear and concern, then it may be possible that any being that reveals itself to you will be thought of as dark and scary.  If your question was asked with a tone of curiosity and wonder, then it is possible that negative energy manifested itself before you.  It is important to realize that your emotions may cloud the way you interact with a being that is trying to make contact.  Either way, the being came into your home without permission, something that should never happen.  Even beings from beyond the veil, like any house guest, should ask permission before entering your private space.

From your description, it appears the “ghost” was once incarnate on this plane.  This means that there was probably a specific reason why it showed itself at that time -something it needed help with.  When two close friends talk about “gut feelings”, an intimate energy is created and you drop your defenses.  The being used this opportunity to show itself in hopes of gauging your reaction.

You have a gift that allows contact from the other side of the veil.  Given the repeated events, these beings feel you can help them on their journey and are seeking you out.  Ultimately, you have a decision to make.  If you feel that your life purpose is to help beings reach the next point on their journey, then you should find a trusted teacher to help you develop your gift.  You want someone that is going teach you create “office hours” for contact (since you don’t want beings coming in uninvited), how to establish a strong connection and what you can do to help them to cross to where they need to go.

You may realize that your life purpose does not involve helping these beings directly, therefore developing your gift in a way that helps people on the mortal plane instead.  This does not mean that you have to completely shut off your connection, it just means that you must be firm in informing beings that they should go to the light or seek someone that can help get them there.

Light and darkness are spectrums of one another.  Without being in the room that day, it is impossible to understand why the being chose to contact you.  If you felt it was dark, then its energy did not vibrate in harmony with yours and it is best that you did not initiate further contact.  If it happens again before you learn to work with your gift, create a protective bubble of pure light around you, beam love energy to the being and tell it firmly to go into the light.

The choice of how to proceed belongs only to you.  Commune with your Higher Self and determine the road that feels right.  Your wishes will be respected.

 

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For more inspirational  answers, click here

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