From J:
First of all I’d like to say that it truly is a blessing and answered prayer to have found your site. The name and symbol are in fact a huge synchronicity for me!
I feel that I’ve been guided to you as I have been praying to and working with God a lot for a while now, not just for myself but for the Greater Good.
My problem is the area of work. I have no idea how to find work that I love to do from my heart and soul and be paid really well for it. I don’t just mean in financial terms but in other forms of abundance including many worldwide travel opportunities and meeting with and befriending like-minded others from all over the world. For the past year and a half or so I’ve been working on a project which God guided me to begin and continue with. Sometimes I get frustrated with it as I’m not seeing particular things manifest into physical reality, which in part is working from my purpose and being paid really well for it. I’ve been in rubbish low paid jobs and hated them. I definitely know what I don’t want to do but don’t know where in the world I fit in. I have a Bachelor’s degree but it’s in a subject matter that I have no passion for.
A couple of months before beginning the project I had a life purpose reading with a channel who told me that I am a channel also. I didn’t accept this at first as I had gone to see her hoping I would be told which area of ‘everyday’ work was right for me. I also thought that being a channel would involve giving readings like her which I didn’t (and still don’t) want to do, but over time I’ve come to realise that there is more to being a channel than just giving readings. In the process of working on the project it’s been made known to me many times through various forms that I am a channel even though I have some difficulty trusting this completely (self-esteem and worthiness issues). I have taken various psychic development and mediumship classes in the past but don’t want to take it to a professional level as it just doesn’t ‘do it’ for me.
Despite my frustrations at times, I still continue with the project as I feel compelled to and know that there is a much bigger reason for doing so. I have also come to realise that this project makes 100% use of a natural talent I had forgotten I’ve had since I was a child, which is researching as I have an inquisitive mind. I’ve had a fascination with the paranormal/supernatural since I was a child and I love looking into the different areas I am guided to, which over the past couple of months has included a lot on the Kabbalah. This is how I know I’ve been guided to you because the appearance of Binah is so specific I couldn’t ignore it.
Anyway, I know that I want to continue researching spirituality/the paranormal/supernatural/occult philosophy but have no idea how to translate this into everyday work. Equally I don’t want to restrict myself to one area in case I’m blocking the flow of other things coming to me which causes me further stress because I keep doubting and getting confused as to what is right for me. I keep asking God for help and to bring opportunities into my life and although I keep asking to have trust and faith that the right work for my purpose will present itself to me when the time is right, I can’t help but get impatient, angry and anxious. I keep asking God to take away and heal these feelings and thoughts which don’t serve me yet they remain even though I want nothing to do with them.
The last job I had was in October 2007 and that was a temporary office job that I had to leave because it literally depressed me. Just the thought of being stuck in an office from 9-5 makes me panic and feel like I’m slowly suffocating. I want to be free, totally love what I do and be paid for it. I know this is by no means too much to ask as there are many people who live their lives like this. I’ve looked into different areas of work to no avail as all I find are jobs I don’t want.
To be honest, I’ve never wanted to be under a boss but have no idea what to do in order to be independent/self-employed and be doing what comes naturally as well as having chances to discover other things I am passionate about. I’ve looked into the area of academics but have come up empty as the subject areas which interest me are not exactly mainstream! I also wish to move to The States and have even contacted a particular research institution about the possibility of joining them but haven’t received a reply yet. I always follow the guidance that I am given as best as I can which includes dream work, meditations and working with the angels but what I ask for just isn’t happening in physical reality. I know that patience is important but there’s a part of me that’s really afraid I’m going to be stuck living at home, which at 28 is not a nice feeling. I just want to feel useful, like I really am making a difference in the world.
I know this has been a very long email but I needed to explain things so that you’d know where I was coming from. I know about the idea of sticking with what I am guided to do, releasing fear and the paid work will then flow into my life but I’ve been working on this project for 1 and 1/2 years and I am still out of work. I’m tired of feeling that I’m using this project as an excuse whenever I’m asked what I do for a living. I just want to be overjoyed and fulfilled on all levels, knowing that I am working form my heart and soul.
I pray that having been guided to your site will bring me the help from God that I have asked for and sorely need.
Thank you SO much for your time, patience and help and for being such a wonderful channel for God/Spirit.
All the best
Inspirations from Bianh:
The quest to find a career that sustains one emotionally and financially can be akin to the search for the Holy Grail. And while it may feel at times as though you will never find the coveted prize, rest assured that it is always within your reach.
You spend a great deal of time thinking about what you will get out of your career, yet your only reference to the work that is going to bring you all you desire is a quick line or two about how it is research based. What does this say about the amount of effort you are putting into doing the work vs thinking about what it is going to be like when you do it? Living in the future can be fun and exciting, but you manifest in the present. Live in the enjoyment of the work and let the abundance flow from there.
Another thought touches back on the Four Worlds of Kabbalah, an amazing tool for manifestation. You have crossed Atziluth and received the idea of what you want to do, yet it feels as if you are stuck at the edge of the abyss between Briah and Yetzirah. Your mind is swirling through the Creative world of Briah making lists of all you can accomplish. The time has come to create a plan that will get you there. You have a myriad of talents and each one has the ability to contribute to your work. Even that degree in the subject you have no passion for provided a set of skills that has made you who you are today. It is only when you think of all your talents together that you realize that each is required to accomplish what you want.
Ask the Archangels of Briah to help you finish up in this world and for the Angels of Yetzirah to help you step into the world of Formation. Binah is providing the bridge for you to cross. Take inventory of all your skills and talents and put together a plan that takes you where you want to go. Step outside the box as you mold new opportunities – often times we don’t realize the unusual skills that can land us an amazing job. You thoughts should be on complimentary skills, like the person that got a degree in teaching and is now an fantastic party planner because she learned how to be highly organized and deal with constant catastrophes. School didn’t teach her how to plan a party, but it did give her all the skills she needed. Life and practice provided the rest.
Being a channel brings you in tune with a force outside yourself, college fortified your basic skills and gave you a core competence in one subject, personal studies have taught you how to research subjects and the subjects themselves… all these can be used together or separately to create the career you want. Remember that each step, no matter how small, will get you one step closer to the goal, and some times, you may have to step backwards in order to eventually move forwards. Accept new opportunities of every size and shape in order to gain experience and begin building your kingdom one brick at a time.
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