Posts Tagged ‘fear’

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Can life be as glamorous as in the movies?

June 15, 2011
Getting some HOT TEA!

Getting some HOT TEA!

Sitting at a café on the beach looking out over the water JK said to me,

“Does perfection exist? Is there a place in the world that has all the good, but none of the bad? How will I make my dreams sustainable? I don’t want to live a dream for a short period of time just to be thwarted back to square one as reality strikes. I guess what it comes down to is that I am searching for sustainable freedom in the world we live in. Maybe I still want to believe life can be as glamorous as in the movies!”

There was a long period of silence between us after he finished. I was taking mental inventory, measuring my life up against the standard he had just created with his declaration. Knowing JK, I understand exactly where his comment was coming from, but did it also apply to me?

JK has fears. “Fears” is probably too strong. He doesn’t fear because he has decided that feeling is too risky in life. JK has… “blah”. At some point he decided that the chance of failure if he attempted to do something that could altar his life direction was too great so he shut down his emotional core. He is mildly successful, living an easy life filled with spurts of fun mixed with intense boredom — and that is just the way he likes it… most of the time.

JK has a steady job, a few good friends and a comfortable home. His best friends gave up on him long ago, accepting what they get. In truth, some of them secretly like JK’s attitude because it means that they will always think they are better than him. A harsh statement, but years of observation and chats with mutual friends has proved this to be true. Unfortunately for JK, this causes toxic energy that adds to the ‘blah’ and making him feel all alone.

In that prolonged silence, I left behind my thoughts of JK and compared his words to my life. “Sustainable freedom.” What a beautiful phrase. I thought about Timothy Ferriss’s book, The Four-Hour Workweek:

“…there is no need to wait and every reason not to.”

Lambrusco y foie gras con rocafort - 1 €

Lambrusco y foie gras con rocafort - 1 €

And that is when I realized that I *am* living a life as glamorous as in the movies. Almost seven years ago I left behind the corporate 9 to 5 job to follow my dreams. Since then, I have lived in various countries, worked with a list of artists and companies that continuously inspire me, taught in conferences and classrooms around the world, written a book and am about to embark on a new adventure living and working in a globally recognized eco-society. From Cirque du Soleil to Damanhur, I would say those are pretty movie worthy experiences!

Going back to JK’s comment, how is it that I am making my dreams sustainable both emotionally and physically? My lifestyle is unique and can be isolating and financially draining if not managed correctly. Is it just luck that I seem to find a way to create community and a way to sustain myself everywhere I go?

Anyone that knows me knows that there is one thing that drives me: I LOVE WHAT I DO. It is that simple. When I am passionate about something, I will work tirelessly. I take good care of myself, allowing ample downtime with friends and alone, but when I am inspired, there is no stopping. And in that sentence there lies the key: I require *constant inspiration*. So how do I find it?

Clouds over the mountains

Clouds over the mountains

Walking through the city late at night the other day with my headphones on, I noticed that without thought I was singing and dancing down the street. The same thing happens on the metro. I have also caught myself laughing out loud while reading books in public, climbing up gates to smell pretty flowers, randomly taking pictures of animals and objects, wrapping my arms around trees to exchange energy, staring out my window to admire the sky as I work, spontaneously hugging my friends… in short, inspiration lies everywhere when you allow yourself to see the beauty of the Universe.

BREATHE DEEP - Jasmine

BREATHE DEEP - Jasmine

So if I love what I do and am inspired by the world around me, then I trust that the Universe will provide me with all the messages I need to guide my life of sustainable freedom and allowing me to follow my dreams free of fear and hesitation. Every opportunity is exciting; every event a new adventure. So what if now and again I am thwarted back to what appears to be square one? I probably learned something valuable effectively making square one actually square 1.5, and I am confident that the new path will be even better than the previous.

So maybe that is what JK has really lost — his sense of wonder and inspiration? I hope he finds it. Life is much more exciting that any television show or movie when you surround yourself with people and places you love and support all the crazy things you do in the name of INSPIRATION!

 

 

If you are looking for advice on a specific question, browse through the questions asked under Recent Advice or submit your own question. All questions are encouraged, for when you are in the thick of things, there is no such thing as a small problem.

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Want and need are NOT the same, when will we learn?

May 10, 2011

Last night, my stubborn Taurus side came out as I got into a heated discussion with a dear friend. As the words flowed, I knew that the way I was trying to explain my point of view was all wrong, but my ego was in full control. She was wearing a clever disguise of concern and real-world experience, but instead of approaching X with compassion, she was trying to pound in her point with severity. I stomped my feet and snorted until he threw his hands up in the air and cried for mercy. Realizing what I had done, I retreated swiftly and apologized, but an opportunity for mutual learning was lost.

There are some topics that push me over the edge: Illegal downloading of music, lack of understanding that production people are artists as well (our “art” is making sure your “art” is seen/heard), and the topic du jour from yesterday – the complete lack of understanding between want and need.

Bedroom

Bedroom by Benoit Dupont, on Flickr

So here is my brief synopsis (BTW, if you know me, you know that brief is not something I do well, so bear with me): X tells me that his focus right now is on making money to give to his Mom because she still works 12 hours days at a to support the family. His Mom lives with her partner, but for argument sake let’s pretend he doesn’t exist since I have no idea what his financial contribution is to the household. There are two children at home between 15 and 19. As he is telling me this, I am looking around and seeing that the kids each have in their rooms a television, high-end stereo, computer, iPhone and every other gizmo a high school kid could want.

X continues, “My focus is on work, not school. Soon I will start a new full time job where I can make really good money so that I can help my Mom. I can work now that I am young and enjoy life later when I am older.”

So I probe… “You say your Mom works long hours to maintain the family, but it seems to me that the family has lots of stuff and enjoys many vacations and evenings out. Would you and your siblings be willing to give up your televisions, for example, if it would mean that your Mom could work 1 hour a day less?” And that was the comment that started the flare up that became an intense discussion between “need” vs “want”.

I have worked corporate jobs with lots of money where I felt poor, and have been a freelancer with little to no money coming in for months on end and really been poor. You know what it taught me? That poor is often a state of mind. I had many physical objects before, but it never satisfied my desire for more. One day I realized that it was all about how I was looking at things. Now I make sure I have what I need and savor every experience where I choose to acquire a want.

So while X was telling me about the month long vacations he has every year and the 115 euro bottles of champagne he bought his parents as a gifts last month, I was finding it hard to believe that his Mom “needed” to work 12 hours a day to make ends meet. The truth was she has made a “choice”, much to the frustration of her kids that miss her terribly, because she “wants” a certain lifestyle. I believe she could work less hours if she would accept that some of her “needs” are actually “wants” that can be sacrificed in exchange for more free time with friends and family. Or maybe she doesn’t want to work less, choosing instead the “wants” over more time? That is a valid choice as well.

Am I being naïve in my thoughts? Maybe, but after teaching about abundance and transformation for several years, I truly believe that the core of the problem is that we get stuck into thinking that we can’t change our circumstances, confusing “wants” for “needs”.

People don’t believe they can live their lives differently; they live in fear to step out and become what they desperately desire to be. But instead of seeing that, the human tendency is to make excuses for why change is impossible – excuses that usually involve blaming someone else. Fear holds us in place. Paulo Coelho put it best recently when he said:

“Many people are afraid to hope. They want to be prepared for failure.”

I hope I can show X that change is possible. Ultimately, he has to discover it on his own, so I think the best I can do is plant the seeds and hope that knowledge grows into understanding through experience.

As for this topic of conversation, next time it comes up, until I can get that ego of mine in check, I think I am going to nod my head and politely agree to disagree. If they want to know more, they can read Inspirations from Binah.

Posted in Living by Example | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

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I need help to have confidence when talking to the public

January 24, 2011

From Anthony:

I lack confidence when talking to the public and this affects me a lot at my work.
Please help me.

 

Inspirations from Binah:

Sometimes, just the idea of speaking in public can cause a person’s blood pressure to rise.  The fear of saying something wrong or being ignored is enough to keep you quiet.  But as you are finding, this can lead to isolation in life and loss of opportunities at work.

To overcome your fear, you must discover its root.  Did you have bad experiences as a child, such as angry responses from adults or being ignored?  Have you always been afraid to speak up?  Go into meditation, call upon your Higher Self, and explore the core issue that causes your anxiety when talking to others.  It may take several journeys to find the source, which may be a combination of several experiences all tangled together, so be patient and review your notes after each meditation.

No matter what the cause, forgive the events from which it came and prepare to heal the wound.  In meditation, speak directly to the source of your fear and tell it that the time has come for it to be released.  Ask if there are any final lessons that you must learn, and after receiving the answer, thank it for its help and consciously begin the process of transmuting the fear into the courage needed to heal.

To rebuild your speaking strength, use a daily mantra.  According to George A. Boyd, “A mantra is an empowered word. An empowered word is a word that has great psychological or spiritual efficacy to powerfully focus our attention on an inner vehicle, on our spirit, or on our Soul.”

To get rid of the fear and boldly speak your mind, use:

Aum Vanishwaraye Vidmahe
Hayagrivaye Dhimahi
Tanno Hayagrivah Prachodayat

Translation: “Om. Let us meditate on the glorious Lord Hayagriva, who is the embodiment of Sri Maha Vishnu. May that great Vagishwara, the Lord of Speech, and consort of Vagishwari, Sarasvati Devi, the Goddess of Knowledge and Speech, inspire and illumine our mind and understanding.”

You can:

  • write a mantra over and over and over, which fixes it as a powerful impression in our Subconscious mind.
  • speak a mantra aloud (chanting) or sing it (bhajan).
  • whisper a mantra.
  • breathe a mantra.
  • repeat the mantra with our attention by thinking it (simran).

Use your mantra daily, especially when faced with speaking in public.  When you feel the anxiety rise, take a deep breath and speak your mantra to yourself, allowing its power to flow through your entire body.

As the fear dissolves and your confidence rises, you will find yourself more open to conversations and speeches.  Words effortlessly gush from your mouth, showing the world the brilliance you have been hiding.

 

George A. Boyd
Mantra provided

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Fore more inspirational answers, click here

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How can I explore my unconscious self?

January 22, 2011

Read Inspirations from Binah in Whispers of Spirit


Featured in Winter Solstice issue of Whispers of Spirit.


From Narissa:

My partner and I are going through some very big changes. We recently acquired a large property which we are in the process of converting into a multi-performance artist space. We are both artists ourselves, so this is a dream come true.

The problem is, I feel like we have no mechanisms for understanding where we are emotionally and spiritually through this transition. Neither one of us likes Tarot, nor many of the tools for connecting to personal energy… at least we haven’t found anything we like. We’d ideally like something that not only shows us where we are, but also helps us stay healthy. Our world is full of color and shapes, turning random stuff people give us into works of art. Any suggestions on what we can use to tune in?


Inspirations from Binah:

In reading your message, one simple word comes to mind: Mandalas.  Combining Sacred Geometry and Color, mandalas provide a way to focus energy, evaluate where you are, and heal.

The word mandala is Sanskrit for circle.  All of its design fits within this powerful shape, starting from the center point and pushing out to its completion.  It is a window to the unconscious, a sacred space to explore without bounds.  With each layer of color, you project your innermost feelings, enabling you to see and correct imbalances.

There are many designs available, but with your artist backgrounds, you should be encouraged to create your own mandalas.  Begin with a blank page or canvas.  Create a circle of any size; this is your outermost border, but not necessarily a part of your design.  Mandalas can be created with any shape, each expressing something different.  Refrain from using color just yet, now is the time to allow Sacred Geometry to be your language.  Starting from the center point, allow your artistry to take form.

When you are done, take a minute to meditate on the shapes you have drawn.  Do they feel balanced?  Do you have more curved/feminine lines representing a need to process or straight/masculine lines representing a need to act?  What do you find in your meditation on these shapes?

The next phase is the coloring portion.  Starting again from the center, choose each color with your eyes closed.  Let your creativity take over and guide the process, this is the best way to connect with your unconscious self.  Once you are done, meditate on your final piece.  What do you feel?

If you hit a point where you do not understand what you are supposed to learn from the mandala you have created, you can bring your mind into your processing by consciously applying your knowledge of color and geometry interpretations.  There are several websites and books which you can refer to that talk about the basic definitions of each shape and color.  Starting with an intuitive interpretation, and then enhancing it with a more intellectual approach, will open gateways to emotions and thoughts locked deep within.

Mandalas can be created when you feel you need them or even as a daily exercise.  Just like some people pull a single Tarot card every morning to understand the energy for the day, you can use a mandala in the same way.  When you need to work through a very specific energy, choose a prepared design and let the coloring-in process be your therapy.  You will be amazed at how much you can learn about yourself with each work of art you create.

Download the podcast here

For more Inspirational answers, click here


Inspirations from Binah:

 

In reading your message, one simple word comes to mind: Mandalas.  Combining Sacred Geometry and Color, mandalas provide a way to focus energy, evaluate where you are, and heal.

 

The word mandala is Sanskrit for circle.  All of its design fits within this powerful shape, starting from the center point and pushing out to its completion.  It is a window to the unconscious, a sacred space to explore without bounds.  With each layer of color, you project your innermost feelings, enabling you to see and correct imbalances.

 

There are many designs available, but with your artist backgrounds, you should be encouraged to create your own mandalas.  Begin with a blank page or canvas.  Create a circle of any size; this is your outermost border, but not necessarily a part of your design.  Mandalas can be created with any shape, each expressing something different.  Refrain from using color just yet, now is the time to allow Sacred Geometry to be your language.  Starting from the center point, allow your artistry to take form.

 

When you are done, take a minute to meditate on the shapes you have drawn.  Do they feel balanced?  Do you have more curved/feminine lines representing a need to process or straight/masculine lines representing a need to act?  What do you find in your meditation on these shapes?

 

The next phase is the coloring portion.  Starting again from the center, choose each color with your eyes closed.  Let your creativity take over and guide the process, this is the best way to connect with your unconscious self.  Once you are done, meditate on your final piece.  What do you feel?

 

If you hit a point where you do not understand what you are supposed to learn from the mandala you have created, you can bring your mind into your processing by consciously applying your knowledge of color and geometry interpretations.  There are several websites and books which you can refer to that talk about the basic definitions of each shape and color.  Starting with an intuitive interpretation, and then enhancing it with a more intellectual approach, will open gateways to emotions and thoughts locked deep within.

 

Mandalas can be created when you feel you need them or even as a daily exercise.  Just like some people pull a single Tarot card every morning to understand the energy for the day, you can use a mandala in the same way.  When you need to work through a very specific energy, choose a prepared design and let the coloring-in process be your therapy.  You will be amazed at how much you can learn about yourself with each work of art you create.

Posted in Asked and Answered, Podcasts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

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How can I keep my heart from not being broken again?

December 21, 2010

From Carmen:

I have found love twice, I believe.  One died suddenly 3 years ago.  For the past two years, I have had another relationship, but a few days ago something changed and he turned around and said to me “I seem to imagine a different relationship”!

We were not in contact for a while and a year ago we agreed to go back into some type of relationship.  For sure I know he likes me for a long time, but he is married.  Last week, he had breakfast with me for my birthday… After a few days, I sent him a message saying I really wanted to see him again soon and he turned around and said I think too much.  I feel like a fool.

At this stage, I just need someone to spend a little time with me.  How can I keep my heart from not being broken again and again.  Is something wrong with me?

Inspirations from Binah:

Relationships require give and take, an equitable flow of energy between people.  You already know that this man is not interested in a true relationship, so it is better for you to walk away now.

You began your final paragraph by saying that you only want someone to spend a little time with you, but then go on to say how you fear having your heart broken.  Those two sentences contradict each other, for if all you really want is a companion, you would not invest your heart and therefore, there would be nothing to break.  Before stepping into another relationship, it is time to step back to discover what you truly want.

There are times when words are not the best way to express, so use pictures instead.  Sit down with a few magazines, a pair of scissors, a poster board and some glue.  Go through all the magazines and cut out pictures that represent what you want in a relationship.  Release your thoughts and react to each picture emotionally, cutting things out without thinking about them.  The pictures should represent all areas of a relationship, including activities, how you feel when you are together, what your future will be like and so forth.  Have fun with this, cutting out everything that makes you smile.

When you are done, arrange the pictures on the poster board and glue them into place, creating a collage.  Resist the urge to think about what each picture means, that will come later.  For now, let your creative side take over and put each piece in place, creating a great work of art.

With your collage complete, you can begin using this new tool for self-discovery.  Sit in your sacred space, ready to meditate on the symbol you have created.  Call in your Higher Self and guides, place the collage comfortably in front of you and stare at it as you enter into a meditative trance.  Let the images wash over you, covering your entire being with this energy.  When you are ready, close your eyes and journey into your ideal relationship.  Record all that you experience.

Over time, use this collage as a way to discover not only what you want in a relationship, but what you need to heal in yourself in order to attract it.  Ask your Higher Self to guide you as you see the cords and fears that keep pushing you into unhealthy relationships.  Each time you meditate with the collage, ask a different question, such as:

  • What is holding me back from attracting my ideal relationship?
  • How do I cut the cords and heal?
  • When my partner looks at me, who do I want he/she to see?
  • How do I become the person I want to be in this relationship?

The collage is a visual representation of what you truly want.  Meditating on it, will take you deep into that energy so that you can find the answers your waking mind seeks.  This process may take time, so be strong and realize that at the end of the path, you will find a stronger and healthier you, one ready to share a life, not lose yourself into another’s.

To listen to the podcast, download it here.

For more inspirational advice, click here.

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