Posts Tagged ‘family’

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That Number doesn’t describe me… does it?

October 15, 2010

Numbers in transport

Numbers in transport by James Cridland

My mother and I get along very well.  Anyone who knows her understands why; she is kind, loving and generous.  And while Mom and I are extremely alike deep down, we are polar opposites in how we choose to navigate the world.  Where I am loud and open, she is reserved and quiet.  You could say that comes from her childhood, but I think there are other energies at play.

My mother’s name was changed somewhere in her formative years.  Changed is not exactly correctly, you could say that it was permanently misspelled.  My mother’s name is German (she has NO German blood in her, my abuela just liked the sound of it) and ended in a ‘d’.  Sometime between birth and marriage, that ‘d’ disappeared.  No one knows where or how, but Mom never bothered to find out where it went.  Even though her baptism papers were wrong, it wasn’t until my mother received her passport around age 17 that anyone took notice of the mistake.

So why does this matter?  It matters because it completely changes her numerology.  Your Name or Destiny Number determines your overall personality.  As described by Adohr Spirit:

The destiny number describes the tasks that you must achieve in this lifetime using the name that was given to you by your parents. This name, the complete birth name, symbolizes the opportunities you have at your disposal -your potential. It is your life’s purpose, spiritual mission, and your field of opportunity.  Unlike the Life Path number which reads as you are, the Destiny number more correctly reads as you MUST or what you can aspire to become.

8 / Numbers in a City: New Haven / 1997 / SML

Numbers in a City by See-ming Lee

I know what it is like to have your name constantly misspelled.  Living in an Hispanic community most of my life with a French spelled name means that I get lots of emails addressed to “Ivette”.  When I was a kid, my report card even came misspelled.  The difference between my mother and me is that I am diligent about correcting every person.  Hmmm…  Could my Mom’s missing letter be the Universe’s way of correcting a mistake made via my grandmother’s free will?

Since neither Mom, nor her family, ever thought of fixing the mistake, I’m starting think think that her modified name created some type of split personality.  My mother’s original number is an 8:

8: Material satisfaction, accomplishment; desire for success, power, recognition.

This comes no where close to describing my Mom’s day-to-day life.  Sure she wants to be financially secure, but she does not have the drive to do push for it -never has.  Her modified number (the one missing the ‘d’) is a 4:

4: System and order, service, sense of limitation; managing, working hard, practical, down-to-earth.

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random.number by the.serial.chiller

Now we’re getting somewhere.  This seems more like who she is today.

In talking to my mother, I always get a sense that her life didn’t turn out quite as expected.  Deep down, she had the desires of an 8, but the 4 allowed her to put aside her own ambition and work in the service of others.  That’s not to say she is unhappy, because I think she is content with her choices, but at the same time I think she feels like she could have done more.  More than her Name numbers conflicting, I think that her Inner Dream numbers push and pull on a constant basis.

Her true name would have taken her down the path of:

You dream of being a leader and one who is in charge. You want to be known for your courage, daring, and original ideas. You seek unconquered heights. People may get a first impression that you are very aggressive and sure of yourself.

Her modified name takes her to:

You dream of guiding and fostering the perfect family in the perfect home. You crave the devotion from offspring and a loving spouse. You picture yourself in the center of a successful domestic unit.

And while my brothers and I love each other, we are not what you would think of as a “perfect” family.  We’re a disparate family unit, coming together only when necessary.  This is not my mother’s ideal vision; she would like to see us constantly visiting one another and having regular family dinners.  She accepts the reality of our relationships because that is what 4s do, but she does not like it.  The interesting part is that I think her original Inner Dream of being a leader colored how we were raised, creating our present family dynamic.  Mom may not have been a corporate giant, but she taught us to be independent, follow our dreams and reach for the sky – something she never had the courage to do.  That original Inner Dream pushed us out into the world, even while her modified Inner Dream longed for domestic bliss.

All of this has lead me to look at my own numbers more carefully.  What are the numbers that are determined at birth versus the ones I have created for myself, and how does that change who I am?  Numerology is an excellent tool for understanding your core being; another tool for the Spiritual Toolbox.  While it is important to accept who you are fundamentally, you also have the power to become who you want to be.  Whether you change your name or just adopt different habits, first give yourself permission to be “you”.  Look through your numerology, astrology and anything else that shows you different facets of who you came into this world as being.  Only when you know and love your true self, can you begin to become who you want to be.

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Why can’t I end an affair?

January 26, 2010

From Yvette:

I wanted to know if i am on the right track with my life. I am a very loving women who cares for children in her home as a dayhome provider and am married to a loving husband and have three grown children. I had an affair with another married man and thought it was over but i can’t seem to end it. I know this is wrong but can’t seem to end it. I try hard but we seem to be drawn together for some reason what i don’t know. It first started when i lost my first grandson over three years ago and i was using drugs and booze but have been drug free and alcohol free nearly two years . I know if i don’t stop it i will lose everything. can you help me with any reason why i don’t end it now. thanks a whole bunch


Inspirations from Binah:

In looking at your opening and closing questions, you find your true dilemma – which relationship will nurture you on you life quest? Before you can move forward, you must choose between life with your husband and one with the other man, for there is obviously more to this relationship than a simple affair.

Choosing a path that deviates sharply from one that you are currently on may seem daunting, but if it is what is in your heart, then it is one you should follow. Yet breaking off something with someone you care about who may be greatly hurt can also be quite scary. The decision is one that only you can make and comes from understanding what you most need to find true happiness.

Take some time and evaluate what you get from both paths before you. Visualize yourself in the future, as if you were watching a movie on the screen. Ask Archangel Jophiel to clear you vision, remove any cobwebs caused by past addiction and grant you understanding. He will illuminate the projector and reveal a film that contains the hidden knowledge you seek. Watch carefully, for the answer lies in the smallest details. Make sure you watch it to the end, seeing what is in the depths of your heart. Though it may not be what you expect, know that this is truth and move forward accordingly. May the heavens bless you.


For more Inspirational answers, click here



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I make mistakes

December 14, 2009

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes. I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can handle me at my worst, then you deserve me at my best!”
–Converted to the positive from a Marilyn Monroe quote

I took the above quote from Marilyn Monroe and changed the last sentence to truly express what I think is the essence of her message.  We all make mistakes.  We have moments of extreme fear that lead to impatience, insecurity and selfishness.  And yet, with the secure warmth of Source, friends, and family, all can be remedied.  Faith, hope and trust are our guiding stars…

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My husband and I split, will he come back?

August 29, 2009

From Rabiya:

just wanted to ask, me and my husband have split up for over a year but i love him so much and want him back iz there any signz of him coming. i live in dundee in scotland and he lives in leeds in england.

ive got 2 beautiful daughters to him and am still married to him love him so so much but he doesnt show any affection towards us i want him back and for him to be part of us

thank you


Inspirations from Binah:

Though the thought of going out and living a new life may seem scary, it can also be a marvelous adventure. Allow yourself the opportunity to be the strong, beautiful and amazing woman you are… a woman that can take care of her children and herself. Now is the time to explore that part of yourself that deserves the full love of those around her.

Instead of worrying about what your husband wants, ask yourself what you want, and then… listen. Your Higher Self is standing by your side, ready to help you through this next stage. Look inside yourself and you will find the answer to all you seek. A new world is waiting for you, go out and enjoy it.


For more Inspirational answers, click here



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I don’t think my mom wants me in the house anymore

May 22, 2009

From Linette:

hay my name is linette and i want to know..what can i do when i feel as though my mom doesn’t want me in the house any more?


From Inspirations from Binah:

It is important for you to know Linette that you are loved by God, your Higher Self and all of the Spirit beings around you. When you feel as if your mother does not want you in the house, take a step back and look into why you are feeling this way. Does this come from something she told you or your interpretation of her behavior?

Take a deep breath and go have a conversation about your feelings with your mother. Communication is the first step to clearing the air and finding understanding. Often, we don’t understand how our behavior is interpreted by others. Just because your mother gets angry at you or may be sad about a specific event, it does not mean that she does not love you or want you around. Tell her what she is doing that leads you to believe she does not want you in the house, then give her a chance to tell you her side. Open your heart and listen to her response. Allow yourself the opportunity to hear not only her words, but her intentions. We are not all good at expressing eloquently what is in our hearts and minds, sometimes, you have to listen to the feeling of love and understanding in the message.

The most important thing for you to do is to be active about your feelings. Sitting around thinking your mother doesn’t want you around is not going to solve anything. By discussing the situation with her, you have a chance to reconnect and improve the situation. Once the problem has been brought out into the open, a solution can be found. Good luck!


For more Inspirational answers, click here

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