Posts Tagged ‘children’

h1

My partner is pulling me down, should I go?

April 27, 2011

Alisa asks:

I have two children with a man whom I love very much.  He has spent the last 12 years in extreme turmoil. I have tried to part ways many times, but continue to get back with him because I love him as a person. However, he pulls me down very much. He is mentally ill and unstable and refuses evaluation or any alternative therapy. He is depressed and very passive about his life. Recently, I was admitted into the University and I am planning on moving to another state in a few months. He said he wants to come and support us there, but I need a new start and I know he really doesn’t want to go because he has no drive to find work. He has a very kind heart, but does nothing for himself but work in a  liquor store. He is functioning at a very low vibration and doesn’t want to help himself. I have tried so hard to nurture his relationship with the children because they love him, but I am seeing how the depression is making us all feel low and down in the dumps. I need some wholesome advice on how I can work this out. I fear he should stay here and we should go alone.

Inspirations from Binah replies:

While your emotional center sets the direction toward love, which can sometimes feel like a random choice with no foundation, your mind provides the checks and balances needed to understand that love.  Language limits our ability to comprehend all the different types of love that can be experienced, making it seem as if the feelings we feel for another person outside of our family can only be categorized as ‘romantic’ or ‘friendship’.  The truth is there are many other levels, each one providing lessons and experiences necessary for your evolutionary journey.

After 12 years with this man, your mind understands all the pros and cons of staying with him.  If he comes with you to your new city, you will continue to repeat the existing pattern, for you cannot expect another to change.  If you can find acceptance, joy and growth in this pattern, then your answer is simple: he should go with you.  But if you continue to feel that he is bringing down the vibration of the entire family, then you must realize that if you remain with him, you are not only holding back your personal growth, you are teaching your children that this is the best they can expect out of life.

That being said, there was a reason you were joined together in love, giving you an opportunity to reach a new level of knowledge through the journey you have walked together.  Sometimes it takes Understanding in order to receive the full Wisdom of an experience and move on to the next.  Shift your focus onto identifying and understanding the love you share today, releasing the need to believe that it must be the love of a partner and opening yourself to accepting that this love may be a vibration meant to bring your children into the world and provide you with strength and compassion you could only acquire through your union.

In your quiet Sanctuary, ask your Higher Self to take you on a spiritual journey through this relationship.  Begin with where and how you met, asking your Higher Self to play the entire video of the last 12 years and pausing where a new lesson was learned.  Take note of each time you learned something about yourself, each time you shed a layer of your ego or prejudices or weaknesses.  Create this list, and when you are done, ask your Higher Self if there is still more to learn in order to find the balance between your emotions and your intellect.  Your Higher Self can tell you if this story should continue, are you ready to accept the answer?

Download the podcast
For more inspirational  answers, click here

h1

My son is aggressive and mean, what do I do?

March 31, 2011

Maritza asks:

My son is 8 years old and he gets aggressive and mean. I just do not know what else to do with him. Any advice?

 

Inspirations from Binah replies:

Aggression in a young child can be very frustrating, and in some cases, quite scary.  Inappropriate outbursts, violent actions… it is enough to make parents want to run and hide.  But as parents, we don’t.  We push forward looking for new ways to help our children through their difficulties.  It is important to remember that you and the child chose each other pre-birth, therefore there are lessons both of you need to learn through these experiences.  Ask your Higher Self to communicate directly to his Higher Self to give you guidance on what is affecting him.  This will give you a starting point from which to proceed.

It cannot be stressed enough that the first place to look is in the child’s diet.  There are many studies that show the link between certain types of food and aggressive behavior in children.  “It may sound amazing, but studies of children (and of teenagers and prisoners) have repeatedly shown that disruptive and even violent behaviour can be dramatically altered simply by changes to diet.”  Check with your doctor to ensure that your son is receiving adequate levels of zinc and magnesium, as well as B vitamins and chromium.  Refining carbohydrates not only removes valuable nutrition, it also makes the food more dense causing digestion issues.  If he eats daily doses of these, he may be experiencing pain in ways that he either doesn’t know how to explain or is embarrassed to.  For a young boy without the adequate vocabulary to express discomfort in the body, he may feel like the only way to tell you something is wrong is to act out.

Sugars, additives and saturated fats, now consumed in huge quantities in many diets, interfere with brain function and have been linked to bad behavior in varying studies.  Check with your doctor for nutritional deficiencies, then consult with a trained nutritionist or naturopath to create a diet that will give your son all the nutrients he needs to develop a strong mind and body.

With a clean kitchen and super-charged, healthy diet, if your son still exhibits disruptive behavior, it is time to look for other causes.  One way to find the source of his aggression is using music therapy.  This form of healing uses music and all of its facets—physical, emotional, mental, social, and spiritual—to help improve health and wellbeing.  Music therapy can benefit children with communication, attention, motivation, and behavioral problems.  A trained music therapist will work with you to devise a program that uses music to first calm your son, then search for the root cause of his anger, recognizing that changes to the household may be necessary.  You can find a qualified music therapist through your doctor or local university music school.

While it is disheartening to know that there is a trauma or wound that hurts your son and pushes him toward aggressive behavior, it is encouraging to know there are many mechanisms for releasing and healing that pain.  Be diligent in your efforts and trust the guidance of your Higher Self.  Listen to what your son has to say and realize that what may seem insignificant to you, may be a monumental clue in unlocking the mystery.  Connect to your inner guidance and be open to all types of physical, emotional and spiritual healing… the path to wellness requires all three.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Music_therapy
http://www.teachingexpertise.com/articles/diets-and-their-effect-on-childrens-behaviour-1128

 

Download the podcast
For more inspirational  answers, click here

h1

I fear I will not have a family, how do I choose a path?

May 13, 2009

From Olga:

Hi there, I must say I am impressed with your work so I am going to ask for your advice. I am lost, I don’t really know how to choose a path to live!!I always have doubts for what I am doing, I change my mind often about my goals and my timing is not right!!

I face professional problems now, and I fell cheated from my own self cause I know my potential and I can ‘t get where I want!! But most of all my greatest fear is that I will not have a family, I will not have children… I ‘m soon to be 35, I have a relationship but he is 8 years younger and no plans for kids….

when I was younger, but a lot younger like I was 19 I had the opportunity to have children but I didn’t want too, so I am deep down afraid that I’ve lost my chance!

I would appreciate your thoughts about this


Inspirations from Binah:

No opportunity is ever really missed. If you accept the choices you’ve made and continue moving forward, that which you are meant to have will present itself again. Though you feel that you have not chosen a path to live, every day you make decisions, every day you choose your path. Give yourself the credit you deserve for manifesting all that is around you.

When it comes to planning a family, you must first speak with your partner. Forget about work and all your other worries, just focus on this one topic. Explain to him your desire for children without worrying about what he wants or needs. Speak straight from your heart. And then… listen. Listen to him tell you, from his heart, what he wants. And when you each know what the other needs, accept it. This is a topic where there is not much compromise to be made. Yes, you can forgo a family, but will you truly be happy if you do? Will he be happy with children he never really wanted? Just as you feel strongly that you want a family, it is possible that he is equally passionate about not having one, and that is something you are going to have to accept.

With acceptance, you will find new opportunities presenting themselves. Whether alone or with a partner, there are many ways to have children: adoption, foster parenting, traditional couples, trios… be open to the thought that your path may be unconventional. Look inward and find the path that is best for you. Once you find acceptance of the present life you’ve built, you will find that the future comes easily one decision at a time.


For more Inspirational answers, click here

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,290 other followers