I have two children with a man whom I love very much. He has spent the last 12 years in extreme turmoil. I have tried to part ways many times, but continue to get back with him because I love him as a person. However, he pulls me down very much. He is mentally ill and unstable and refuses evaluation or any alternative therapy. He is depressed and very passive about his life. Recently, I was admitted into the University and I am planning on moving to another state in a few months. He said he wants to come and support us there, but I need a new start and I know he really doesn’t want to go because he has no drive to find work. He has a very kind heart, but does nothing for himself but work in a liquor store. He is functioning at a very low vibration and doesn’t want to help himself. I have tried so hard to nurture his relationship with the children because they love him, but I am seeing how the depression is making us all feel low and down in the dumps. I need some wholesome advice on how I can work this out. I fear he should stay here and we should go alone.
Inspirations from Binah replies:
While your emotional center sets the direction toward love, which can sometimes feel like a random choice with no foundation, your mind provides the checks and balances needed to understand that love. Language limits our ability to comprehend all the different types of love that can be experienced, making it seem as if the feelings we feel for another person outside of our family can only be categorized as ‘romantic’ or ‘friendship’. The truth is there are many other levels, each one providing lessons and experiences necessary for your evolutionary journey.
After 12 years with this man, your mind understands all the pros and cons of staying with him. If he comes with you to your new city, you will continue to repeat the existing pattern, for you cannot expect another to change. If you can find acceptance, joy and growth in this pattern, then your answer is simple: he should go with you. But if you continue to feel that he is bringing down the vibration of the entire family, then you must realize that if you remain with him, you are not only holding back your personal growth, you are teaching your children that this is the best they can expect out of life.
That being said, there was a reason you were joined together in love, giving you an opportunity to reach a new level of knowledge through the journey you have walked together. Sometimes it takes Understanding in order to receive the full Wisdom of an experience and move on to the next. Shift your focus onto identifying and understanding the love you share today, releasing the need to believe that it must be the love of a partner and opening yourself to accepting that this love may be a vibration meant to bring your children into the world and provide you with strength and compassion you could only acquire through your union.
In your quiet Sanctuary, ask your Higher Self to take you on a spiritual journey through this relationship. Begin with where and how you met, asking your Higher Self to play the entire video of the last 12 years and pausing where a new lesson was learned. Take note of each time you learned something about yourself, each time you shed a layer of your ego or prejudices or weaknesses. Create this list, and when you are done, ask your Higher Self if there is still more to learn in order to find the balance between your emotions and your intellect. Your Higher Self can tell you if this story should continue, are you ready to accept the answer?