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I can’t handle a long distance relationship

June 27, 2011

2 Trees by aussiegall, on Flickr

2 Trees

Mandy asks:

I recently started seeing someone, but now she is moving away for several months and I am not sure what to do. I really like her and I have a feeling there is something growing between us, but I don’t think it is good to lock ourselves into a relationship when we just met. Should I continue seeing her and risk the sadness of separation or walk away now and trust that if there is something between us it will be there when she gets back. I can’t handle a long distance relationship, but I don’t want to lose her completely. I feel really conflicted.


Inspirations from Binah replies:

New relationships are filled with wonder. Each encounter provides an opportunity to learn and share. With each passing moment, emotions connect and intertwine, quickly processing sensory input into likes and dislikes which become the basis of a relationship.

Traditionally, we have relied on physical proximity to foster this growing connection. But what do you do when that is not possible? Every day, modern technology provides new channels to bring us closer together even when we are physically apart. Can these channels be enough to nurture a new relationship?

To decide the best path, you must look to the heavens to read the navigational signs the Universe is placing before you. While relationships can be enriching, they can also become unhealthy when both parties are not ready. We often find ourselves rushing into something out of fear of losing out, than sitting back and allowing the connection to naturally unfold.

Since you know that the distance is temporary, it may be that the Universe is telling each of you that you have objectives that must be accomplished individually in order to come together out of healthy want, instead of weak need. The test is to see the distance as a spiritual tool, rather than an obstacle. The Universe has given you a glimpse of something beautiful you can be a part of, but only if you continue your own path instead of jumping onto the path of another.

In the time you are apart there will be moments of sadness. There may also be moments of prolonged silence and loneliness. Allow yourself to feel the depths and range of your emotions, for there is much to be learned when you remain present and open. Terence Trent D’Arby sang, “…all lovers must have thought provoking fears” and it is here where you have the greatest opportunity to heal and grow. Embrace the fears, thank them for their service, and then release them, asking your guides to place before you any additional spiritual tools you need to complete the healing process.

Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss. -Emily Matthews reworked by Veronica Bowermaster

Patience is not often the easiest human trait to learn, but those who have managed to master it have earned a great prize.  Allow yourself to savor each experience with this person, free of limits, obligations and expectations. Use all the technology at your disposal to keep the connection alive, while being mindful that the physical distance has a purpose that must be honored. This is a time for individual growth; a time to continue on your individual path. Not every step must be taken alone, but at the same time, no step can be rushed. When you feel doubt, call upon your Higher Self and ask for guidance. Release fear and embrace faith.


I sit in the present to relish the beauty
of slow forward movement.

Like watching a delicate flower bloom,
a great magician is showing me
the wonder of patience.
Fear surges from time to time
…wrapping his hands around mine,
it dissipates just as quickly as it comes.

My magician speaks without words.
With every encounter I learn
the language of his actions,
finding that if I allow and trust,
all questions will be answered…
all feelings revealed
when the time is right.


If you are looking for advice on a specific question, browse through the questions asked under Recent Advice or submit your own question. All questions are encouraged, for when you are in the thick of things, there is no such thing as a small problem.

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